A sad story we hope doesn’t happen to you
Every year we hear a similar story, it’s so sad.
This is what happens. A group of students, finding each other online and initially encouraged by one student, feel they need to find a big place together and share it. They think doing this and dividing out the rent can seem affordable. Sometimes it is, but it may not be as affordable and it may have other drawbacks.
What those wanting to share don’t realize is that the utilities can get quite high with multiple users, especially during the darker, colder, rainy winter months. They also need to get Internet… Each of these have initial hookup fees. Then you have to buy furniture. If it’s an apartment, there may be a coin operated laundry. If it’s a house, there will be no laundry and the laundromat may be a very long way away. Finally, with either, it might also be a long way from a good bus route… You have to consider this especially because in the dark and rainy winter it can be a miserable walk home, especially if it's all uphill!
So, here’s the sad part that happens every year. Two or three or four students “agree” to share a place, again usually at the urging of one student. Some even urge the one arriving first to do all the footwork. They put in applications, often one after another, hoping one will works, (They also pay a fee per person to each property management company they enlist with). Along the way, one person might find a great deal on their own that they can’t refuse, either a room in a home or another “perfect” share situation that’s offered. That leaves the others feeling like they were abandoned. They might say, “She/He ‘promised’ ".
Actually, no one ever says literally, “I promise”. They go into it initially agreeing because someone said, “Hey, let’s do this”, and everyone says, “Yes, lets do it.” It's presumed to be an agreement, but definitely not a promise.
If the first place they apply to is in a perfect location, the price is right, and everything else about it can work (including laundry?), then wonderful! However, imagine how everyone might feel after applying for many places, some better than others, when all the responses (so far) reply, "No". (Often they're just removed from the list and you don't even get a reply.) How much better it might feel to you, at that moment as an individual, if you could find a really good place for yourself -- too good to turn down? Right? … But, then the others, who were friends (so called just because they were all rental searching together), now all of a sudden are not acting as friends, even maybe suddenly hating each other because the original "agreement" is breaking down.
Is it fair or not fair for a person to leave the group struggling to find a place because they found a great deal of their own? Is it fair or not fair for the group, now one person (or two) smaller, to get mad because someone did find a good place on their own. After such a long time struggling to find a place together, and with time running out, is it fair to put such expectations/demands on someone in this way?
If you find yourself in either of these situations, remember how it all started and maybe how long it's taking to find a perfect place to share. There are lots of places out there, and some affordable, but the location and other circumstances may not be as good. If one person finds a good single place, rejoice with that person and then rethink and regroup as needed. Don’t let it break up what could/should develop into a strong friendship between peers and classmates. If needed in these cases, everyone can still work together to find a substitute, another person looking to share a place… or the group can downsize as needed.
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Sidenote: As hinted at above, if you are the first one to arrive, don't let others pressure you into finding a place for everyone who comes later. It might work, and great if it does! But -- at the same time -- let yourself feel free to find the best place for yourself. For those who are expecting the first arrival to find a place, again, that's an unfair expectation. Finding rentals in Monterey is very hard. Saying this, if a place is found and if it's available "now", you must be willing to pay for it right then, even if it means paying for a couple weeks when you are not there. The landlords want to rent it to the first person, right away... That's what students do to secure a place for when they get here... and are always glad they did.
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This is why we tell students from the beginning: Unless you are coming with someone who’s actually a personal friend from your undergrad school, don’t lock yourself into a digital friendship thinking you will all find a place together once you get here. (Even if you have been long-time friends from the past, it still might be to your advantage to find individual places if those bigger options don't come up easily. After all, you will see each other every day at school!)
Bottom line: Don’t automatically let someone convince you that finding a 2-3-4 bedroom apartment or house is better, or cheaper. Instead, be willing to look for a room rental for just yourself (usually furnished and with utilities & Internet paid), even as you keep your eyes open for that perfect big place to share. If you find a big place (unfurnished with utilities not included), then contact others you’ve met to join you... if they want to. But, don’t stop looking for a single room in case the bigger place doesn’t happen. Consider every option and all the costs, and not just the initial rental fee per month. There's a lot more to it!
Every year we hear a similar story, it’s so sad.
This is what happens. A group of students, finding each other online and initially encouraged by one student, feel they need to find a big place together and share it. They think doing this and dividing out the rent can seem affordable. Sometimes it is, but it may not be as affordable and it may have other drawbacks.
What those wanting to share don’t realize is that the utilities can get quite high with multiple users, especially during the darker, colder, rainy winter months. They also need to get Internet… Each of these have initial hookup fees. Then you have to buy furniture. If it’s an apartment, there may be a coin operated laundry. If it’s a house, there will be no laundry and the laundromat may be a very long way away. Finally, with either, it might also be a long way from a good bus route… You have to consider this especially because in the dark and rainy winter it can be a miserable walk home, especially if it's all uphill!
So, here’s the sad part that happens every year. Two or three or four students “agree” to share a place, again usually at the urging of one student. Some even urge the one arriving first to do all the footwork. They put in applications, often one after another, hoping one will works, (They also pay a fee per person to each property management company they enlist with). Along the way, one person might find a great deal on their own that they can’t refuse, either a room in a home or another “perfect” share situation that’s offered. That leaves the others feeling like they were abandoned. They might say, “She/He ‘promised’ ".
Actually, no one ever says literally, “I promise”. They go into it initially agreeing because someone said, “Hey, let’s do this”, and everyone says, “Yes, lets do it.” It's presumed to be an agreement, but definitely not a promise.
If the first place they apply to is in a perfect location, the price is right, and everything else about it can work (including laundry?), then wonderful! However, imagine how everyone might feel after applying for many places, some better than others, when all the responses (so far) reply, "No". (Often they're just removed from the list and you don't even get a reply.) How much better it might feel to you, at that moment as an individual, if you could find a really good place for yourself -- too good to turn down? Right? … But, then the others, who were friends (so called just because they were all rental searching together), now all of a sudden are not acting as friends, even maybe suddenly hating each other because the original "agreement" is breaking down.
Is it fair or not fair for a person to leave the group struggling to find a place because they found a great deal of their own? Is it fair or not fair for the group, now one person (or two) smaller, to get mad because someone did find a good place on their own. After such a long time struggling to find a place together, and with time running out, is it fair to put such expectations/demands on someone in this way?
If you find yourself in either of these situations, remember how it all started and maybe how long it's taking to find a perfect place to share. There are lots of places out there, and some affordable, but the location and other circumstances may not be as good. If one person finds a good single place, rejoice with that person and then rethink and regroup as needed. Don’t let it break up what could/should develop into a strong friendship between peers and classmates. If needed in these cases, everyone can still work together to find a substitute, another person looking to share a place… or the group can downsize as needed.
---------
Sidenote: As hinted at above, if you are the first one to arrive, don't let others pressure you into finding a place for everyone who comes later. It might work, and great if it does! But -- at the same time -- let yourself feel free to find the best place for yourself. For those who are expecting the first arrival to find a place, again, that's an unfair expectation. Finding rentals in Monterey is very hard. Saying this, if a place is found and if it's available "now", you must be willing to pay for it right then, even if it means paying for a couple weeks when you are not there. The landlords want to rent it to the first person, right away... That's what students do to secure a place for when they get here... and are always glad they did.
----------
This is why we tell students from the beginning: Unless you are coming with someone who’s actually a personal friend from your undergrad school, don’t lock yourself into a digital friendship thinking you will all find a place together once you get here. (Even if you have been long-time friends from the past, it still might be to your advantage to find individual places if those bigger options don't come up easily. After all, you will see each other every day at school!)
Bottom line: Don’t automatically let someone convince you that finding a 2-3-4 bedroom apartment or house is better, or cheaper. Instead, be willing to look for a room rental for just yourself (usually furnished and with utilities & Internet paid), even as you keep your eyes open for that perfect big place to share. If you find a big place (unfurnished with utilities not included), then contact others you’ve met to join you... if they want to. But, don’t stop looking for a single room in case the bigger place doesn’t happen. Consider every option and all the costs, and not just the initial rental fee per month. There's a lot more to it!