Bringing Children - or letting them stay behind
with family
Bringing young children with you is a very big decision… and not one to be considered lightly. If you're a visiting scholar, your schedule will be more flexible and it could be a good experience for your child as long they are old enough to be in school... Preschool is extremely expensive. It's also illegal to leave young children along in home. If you're a MIIS student, will your spouse be living here with you and your child? If not, because your academic life will probably be extremely intense, bringing young children may not be the best choice.
We definitely love the children that come. Children are a blessing and we honor those parents who make the effort and sacrifice -- but it's simply not easy being a MIIS student and being the only parent here to care for the child. Every family dynamic is different but life here at MIIS is very consuming. Even students who are here for their second Masters degree say that MIIS is much harder than their previous university. Most parents leave their children back home with family and obviously age can make a difference.
Sometimes, there is no way to come without bringing your child because there is no one who can take care of them. If this is your situation, we praise you for your courage – just know that your life at MIIS will be very limited and you will miss out on the non-academic life most students enjoy. The important thing to realize if you attend MIIS is that you may be required to attend workshops & study groups on weekends (all day) and often will have to be at school late into the evenings during the week – and it will not be a choice. This is especially true for students. As a scholar, our schedule will be more flexible. However, you will have times when you need to be at school and those times may not match the child's school schedule, especially on days when your child's school may be closed.
For those who hope to bring your child, this is important to know. Specifically for school age children: What would you do if it is pouring down rain, you have to be in class, but you also have to take your child to school – it may be a very long walk each way? What would you do if it is a holiday for your child but you have to be at your school? Or, what if your child is sick and you have a big exam or presentation? It is illegal to leave children alone! Some in the past have hoped to find another parent to help out. However, they may be in the same situation, wishing they had someone else also. This hopefully idea has not worked, except in a few instances where they knew each other before coming and lived together while here.
Choosing Schools for Kids and Transportation Issues:
Not every school has special buses for the kids. There is only one public elementary school in the area of MIIS. It is about 1.5 miles from MIIS, about 30 minute walk, up hill. It is called Monte Vista Elementary School. The address is 251 Soledad Drive, Monterey 93940 (so you can find it on Internet maps). The only middle school is about 45 minute walk up a very steep hill (100 Toda Vista, Monterey). The high school is very close. There are some other schools further away. Which school a child attends depends on what district you live in -- you do not get to choose. For these other schools, you would be too far from MIIS to walk. The public buses are $2.50 each time you ride it.
School Enrollment Needs:
Each child needs to have the correct medical records. It will be important that any records brought with you are already translated into English – this is critical! To get a better idea of what is needed, go to this website: http://www.cde.ca.gov/ls/he/hn/cefimmunization.asp.
General Procedures to get started:
Once you get here, you will need to get an enrollment folder. This can be picked up at any school because they are all the same. The school must tell you what parts the doctor needs to fill out because some things do not apply -- it depends on the age of the child. You will then need to go to a medical clinic that will check to make sure you have all the immunizations and medical exams required. Important note: If you plan ahead and get these immunizations before you arrive, it will be much cheaper. All of this process takes time so it should be started as as soon as you get here. However, you cannot finish and return the enrollment forms until you have a permanent place to live to prove you live in the right area for that school. The proof you will need will be a copy of the agreement between you and the landlord -- something in writing.
Important additional information to consider as you make plans:
Remember, it is illegal to leave a young child alone at home.
If a neighbor sees that this is happening they may report it to the authorities. This may sound like an obvious and natural responsibility of parents, but we have found that some parents who come here do not think of this and will want to leave their child as they go out to the store or something else they think is quick. Another thing: The children's schools do have after-school programs, but they cost extra and may not have any openings available -- sometimes they are full. And, there are always days when the school is not open or ends early.
Finally, as a MIIS student with a child, do not expect to find places to rent that share with others. Single students live a very different life and will not be able to quite down in the evening so the child can sleep. Also, host homes in America will not rent a room to someone with a child. There rooms will be for one adult only.
Parents who bring their children either find a place alone or arrange before they get here to share with another parent who has also brought a child.
Please keep all of this in mind as you think of bringing your children with you, especially if only one parent is planning to come.
If you leave your child back home, here is a great way to stay in touch, as experienced by others:
Some students want to Skype children in the evening, usually saying good morning to their kids back home as they wake up. This can be very difficult because a MIIS student/scholar’s evening schedules may make it hard to get away and do this. It is a better choice that will work more often without interruption: Get up early and Skype kids before your day starts -- often saying good night to them.
Ways to share over Skype, Zoom, or... whatever works :)
Some parents have a book to read and the child, with supervision, as the same book. Reading every night before the child goes to bed is great! Or, do the same with a game board (may work best with boys). In each case, if a co-parent, grandparent or guardian is with the child on the other end, a great time can be had by all and it can be a very inter-active way to keep in touch even if they are half-a-world away.
We definitely love the children that come. Children are a blessing and we honor those parents who make the effort and sacrifice -- but it's simply not easy being a MIIS student and being the only parent here to care for the child. Every family dynamic is different but life here at MIIS is very consuming. Even students who are here for their second Masters degree say that MIIS is much harder than their previous university. Most parents leave their children back home with family and obviously age can make a difference.
Sometimes, there is no way to come without bringing your child because there is no one who can take care of them. If this is your situation, we praise you for your courage – just know that your life at MIIS will be very limited and you will miss out on the non-academic life most students enjoy. The important thing to realize if you attend MIIS is that you may be required to attend workshops & study groups on weekends (all day) and often will have to be at school late into the evenings during the week – and it will not be a choice. This is especially true for students. As a scholar, our schedule will be more flexible. However, you will have times when you need to be at school and those times may not match the child's school schedule, especially on days when your child's school may be closed.
For those who hope to bring your child, this is important to know. Specifically for school age children: What would you do if it is pouring down rain, you have to be in class, but you also have to take your child to school – it may be a very long walk each way? What would you do if it is a holiday for your child but you have to be at your school? Or, what if your child is sick and you have a big exam or presentation? It is illegal to leave children alone! Some in the past have hoped to find another parent to help out. However, they may be in the same situation, wishing they had someone else also. This hopefully idea has not worked, except in a few instances where they knew each other before coming and lived together while here.
Choosing Schools for Kids and Transportation Issues:
Not every school has special buses for the kids. There is only one public elementary school in the area of MIIS. It is about 1.5 miles from MIIS, about 30 minute walk, up hill. It is called Monte Vista Elementary School. The address is 251 Soledad Drive, Monterey 93940 (so you can find it on Internet maps). The only middle school is about 45 minute walk up a very steep hill (100 Toda Vista, Monterey). The high school is very close. There are some other schools further away. Which school a child attends depends on what district you live in -- you do not get to choose. For these other schools, you would be too far from MIIS to walk. The public buses are $2.50 each time you ride it.
School Enrollment Needs:
Each child needs to have the correct medical records. It will be important that any records brought with you are already translated into English – this is critical! To get a better idea of what is needed, go to this website: http://www.cde.ca.gov/ls/he/hn/cefimmunization.asp.
General Procedures to get started:
Once you get here, you will need to get an enrollment folder. This can be picked up at any school because they are all the same. The school must tell you what parts the doctor needs to fill out because some things do not apply -- it depends on the age of the child. You will then need to go to a medical clinic that will check to make sure you have all the immunizations and medical exams required. Important note: If you plan ahead and get these immunizations before you arrive, it will be much cheaper. All of this process takes time so it should be started as as soon as you get here. However, you cannot finish and return the enrollment forms until you have a permanent place to live to prove you live in the right area for that school. The proof you will need will be a copy of the agreement between you and the landlord -- something in writing.
Important additional information to consider as you make plans:
Remember, it is illegal to leave a young child alone at home.
If a neighbor sees that this is happening they may report it to the authorities. This may sound like an obvious and natural responsibility of parents, but we have found that some parents who come here do not think of this and will want to leave their child as they go out to the store or something else they think is quick. Another thing: The children's schools do have after-school programs, but they cost extra and may not have any openings available -- sometimes they are full. And, there are always days when the school is not open or ends early.
Finally, as a MIIS student with a child, do not expect to find places to rent that share with others. Single students live a very different life and will not be able to quite down in the evening so the child can sleep. Also, host homes in America will not rent a room to someone with a child. There rooms will be for one adult only.
Parents who bring their children either find a place alone or arrange before they get here to share with another parent who has also brought a child.
Please keep all of this in mind as you think of bringing your children with you, especially if only one parent is planning to come.
If you leave your child back home, here is a great way to stay in touch, as experienced by others:
Some students want to Skype children in the evening, usually saying good morning to their kids back home as they wake up. This can be very difficult because a MIIS student/scholar’s evening schedules may make it hard to get away and do this. It is a better choice that will work more often without interruption: Get up early and Skype kids before your day starts -- often saying good night to them.
Ways to share over Skype, Zoom, or... whatever works :)
Some parents have a book to read and the child, with supervision, as the same book. Reading every night before the child goes to bed is great! Or, do the same with a game board (may work best with boys). In each case, if a co-parent, grandparent or guardian is with the child on the other end, a great time can be had by all and it can be a very inter-active way to keep in touch even if they are half-a-world away.